Novels No. 68

Richard Osman. We Solve Murders. Large Print. USA: Random House, 2024.

Rosie D'Antonio is a wealthy, lively, bestselling novelist of a certain age who hired security firm Maximum Impact Solutions because a Russian wants to kill her. Her assigned bodyguard is Amy Wheeler whom mystery man François Loubet is trying to kill; Loubet uses murder broker Rob Kenna who chooses Eddie Flood as the hit man. Thanks to a generous new investment, Felicity's failing theatrical agency is reborn as Vivid Viral Media, herself unaware that she's now a front for money-smuggling—attracting would-be internet influencers like Bonnie Gregor as innocent mules. Amy's boss Jeff disappears after his actor client Max Highfield walks out, heading for rival security firm operated by Henk van Veen, Jeff's ex-partner. Steve Wheeler, retired cop and father of Amy's absent husband Adam, is willing to leave his comfort zone temporarily to help Amy find whoever killed three of those mules, so Amy can kill the killer before she gets killed.

It's like that. Love it or hate it, it's Osman at his absurdist best. Luckily, Rosie has her own jet for transporting Amy and Steve here and there. They need to unravel the elaborate plot that frames Amy for the three killings. Oh-oh, two more dead mules surface. Adam happens to be in Dubai just where he's useful. Steve, fretting that he might miss his regular trivia night in the pub back home, gets his pal Tony to interview Felicity for possible clues. Rosie can't help flirting with Steve even when drug dealer Nelson Nunez has them at gunpoint. Steve's neighbour Gary, reformed drug smuggler, provides a convenient helipad and safe house. The only character who seems slightly out of context is Loubet, confiding to us in first person mode; even he doesn't know the identity of his own informant Joe Blow.

Dialogue is the crazy glue that binds these opinionated people into fast-paced entertainment. It also happens to be a tricky, insidious mystery; screwball fun if you're in the mood. Who knew money-laundering mules were so epidemic?

Very Random Bits

▪ "Harry Styles gave me that jacket," says Max. (32)

▪ "You can catch people on your doorbell these days, can't you? Could we try that?" (71)

▪ Big Navy SEAL with a gun directly behind her. Who is doing this? Who needs her dead? (96)

▪ Rosie only really has one rule in life: if you see a door, walk through it. (104)

▪ "Sir," says the man, flicking through Steve's passport and looking at him again, "I hope you don't think we're having a conversation." (168)

▪ "God don't care about yesterday," says Barb. "God cares about tomorrow. I'll make you a rose hip fusion, and I'll put a bit of kale in it." (191)

▪ Steve and Rosie are singing along to a song about country roads that she has never heard. If someone is going to kill her, please let it be now. (217)

▪ How easy it seems to be to talk to Felicity Woollaston. Spies mustn't fall in love, though. It's the first rule. (253)

▪ "I heard you were a DJ," says Big Mick. "Apart from that, I don't want to know." (283)

▪ "I'm not getting in a minibus," says Rosie. "No disrespect to anyone." (364)

Denise Mina. Conviction. USA: Mulholland/Little, Brown and Company, 2019.

This is one of Mina's that I missed. Then I received it as an ebook which lasted a few seconds as my tablet informed me that it could not support TPL upgrades. So. Moving on.

Anna is a woman addicted to true crime podcasts. One morning her marriage to Hamish explodes in front of their two young daughters; in truth, she's not the most likeable protagonist, sometimes prone to violence. As Anna deals – poorly – with the fallout, tuning into a podcast called Death and the Dana for distraction. The owner of the private yacht that inexplicably blew up and sank at sea with owner himself and two teenagers aboard is a name she knows. Leon Parker. A man she'd once met and admired while working at Castle Skibo resort in Scotland. The podcast cuts through the contemporary media hype, the lax police work that nevertheless convicted a young chef for their murders; the producer and narrator, Trina Keany, concludes that Parker likely sabotaged the ship to kill himself and his two children.

At the time, Leon had recently married Gretchen Tiegler, head of an ultra-powerful European family. A woman who had once tried to kill Anna. Or is Anna her real name? As the podcast winds on, Anna is clearly in a panic, resisting suicidal thoughts, racing to see old friends in Scotland, but stuck with tag-along anorexic Fin—husband of the woman Hamish had just absconded with. Fin was lately a rock band star, mourning his now-bankrupt status. Anna feels compelled to disprove the podcast's rationale, to defend her long-ago friend, but her real undoing is a photo of herself and Fin, taken as they drove away and posted online. After years of shielding her identity, Anna again becomes a target for Gretchen.

If that makes it sound fairly straightforward, it's not. It's an inventive, intricate, intriguing story—or two. The fractious but tender relationship between Anna and Fin is irresistible, especially when he spontaneously becomes a podcaster himself. There seem to be no limits to author Mina's versatility, creativity, and relevance.

Bits

▪ I was just sitting on the side of the bath, wishing I was dead. Hamish was leaving me. He was taking my girls. My friend had betrayed me. (49)

▪ "It's just low blood sugar. When I haven't eaten for a while." (107)

▪ I didn't believe Leon would kill his kids but was sure that Gretchen had decided who the official killer would be. This had her stamp all over it. (111)

▪ "Ooooh," Adam grinned. "Like you're armchair detectives now?" (141)

▪ "Anna, no one pays a crew in cash up front. They've got every reason to fuck off." (141)

▪ A body was on the ground thirty feet away, moving in the dark. Twin red lights blinked and reverse lights came on. (201)

▪ I felt as if I was sliding off the side of the world. I started crying. Fin took my hand and held it until I stopped. (221)

▪ I might never get to speak to her again so I just blurted it out: "Trina, no one tells the truth about her. No one stands up to her." (227)

▪ "The same dress. Twice." She seemed quite pleased about the sale. (262)

▪ "Violetta was too good to say it but I did: You. Are. Broke. Stop spending, Leon!" (283)